Orangepeel and Papercuts

2009-05-18T23:10:00.000-07:00

Distant.
When you tell me that I'm distant
do you know this ghostly constant
thin whistle of an empty space
vanilla citrus aftertaste
open books and wooden spoons
lonely winter afternoons

Can I find a little recipe
to make you see the inner me
put that sweet taste on your lips
cradle my hands on your hips
dance away the deadly lie

that we never said goodbye.

2009-03-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

Far.

I'm weary of entertaining
these moments of doubt
I'm tired of filing
these pages steeped in syrup
The bitter and the sweet
get harder to separate
Things I can and cannot do without

Just when I'm done
The phone rings in the dark
But I don't get up
Instead I fall in love with you again

I'm sick of eating
spaghetti out of a box
It's hard to forget your cooking
Easier to shut it out
The marks on your body
So hard to separate
Things I cry and smile about

Just when I'm still
The phone rings outside
But I don't stir
Instead I fall in love with you again

I'm worn from avoiding
songs from our past
It's amazing how much I remember
Easier to block it out
The hugs, kisses and blows
get harder to separate
Now everything's clear as glass

Just when I'm breaking
The phone rings by my side
But I have no voice
To tell you that I love you

2008-09-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

Untitled.

I can remember the night
Through heartbreaking cries
She stumbled through the words
That severed our ties

I sat there holding her
Fighting back every urge
To make this separation hard for her

I told her "It was alright,
we can be friends for life."
Forcing my soul
To consume the Lies I told

I left and found a bottle to console
The black pit that was left
When her words stole my soul

Bottle after bottle
Sip after sip
Until the liquor numbed my body
and I couldn't feel anymore

But it couldn't erase the memories I had with her
It just couldn't steal my soul's longing for her

So I began my walk
Down the long Green Mile
To Death's open arms
With nothing less than a smile

See he had stolen my heart
Back in 1993
Then he took my soul
That night at a quarter past three

Now there was nothing left to take
And I'd be damned letting him have the satisfaction of knowing
He had succeeded in possessing it all
Leaving me with nothing

So alas, my heart and soul sit
Within the Grim Reaper's cold grip
Never to return
Until I can once again taste Her intoxicating lips

But it's just a blind man's dream
Because I know it'll never be
I'm a worthless vessel
Cursed to walk the streets of the Broken and Lonely

2008-07-13T15:07:00.000-07:00

Gargoyle.

The violet-orange veil lifted hours ago
In the pit revealed there's a ashen seat
A lonely place for one, not two

Why doesn't the weight of this breath
blanket the stars that shine on me
when the moon can't gaze on you?

I don't talk about things that puzzle me
Spirals of scribbles carved on an old trunk
somewhere where I stored those trinkets

Your intangibles hang around my neck
Covering grim scars and catching light
But sometimes the dark is viscous

I don't understand the things that silence me
These countless meaningless freedoms
can't extract the sadness of being free

Trap me in your arms and forgive
the recklessness of my solitude
I am only real; not deaf, nor mute.

2008-06-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

Next.

Living on the radio
You're holding tattered bags
Don't look now
It's yesterday right here

Sickness in your hair
Did you love him
like you would
next next week

But you don't feel a thing
today for me

Maybe tonight
after my accident
when I'm needy
Maybe next next life

you'll fall for me again

2008-05-25T00:24:00.000-07:00

2008-03-16T16:42:00.000-07:00

Words.

How unreasonable am I to expect
Words to spring from foolish pages and dance
To the haunting melodies you breathed
Into this stately library?
Nothing that I’ve said ever matched a touch
To your satin cheeks
I can paint a kiss there
And a volume somewhere will crumble
Into wooden dust and acid
My stories grow anemic when you
Steal my senses, dissolve my tenses into
Now and ever after
Grating my heart against the stone in my chest
Wringing the crimson fibers
I gather drops of loneliness
And spill them through a quill onto
Paper
Words again
When words can’t show I love you

2008-02-21T06:24:00.000-08:00

Strobe.

Fiery hearts beating under a strobe light
Look cold and still
When shadow and glare fight over despair
Never gone yet never there
How long until?

All I want are the bare essentials
Brave lover
There's an ideal alive in this heart
Strip down to the naked start
Of your surrender

When I wake with broken wings
Free from this pain
Take them and make a white dress
Slip it on and tenderly confess
That you've fallen for me again

2008-01-27T18:50:00.000-08:00

I remembered you in a dream,
how you overwhelmed me under the moon.
Half drowned and convulsing, my body
a twisted bouquet of raw nerves,
touched and stroked to feverish frenzy; my eyes thirstily
drinking in your writhing form, your taut frame
arched like a drenched question mark,
you meant to grind out the question: why?
I answered strangely, in a whisper of a groan,
watching your hips betray your reason,
petal lips and legs parted in abandon, sliding
warmly against my flesh, wrapping
your passion around me, your surrender surrounding
and cradling me over the sinking ground.
Hovering over my desperate breaths, you clung to me,
childlike; a strong woman breaking, gracefully collapsing
onto me – taking me, trembling as my hungry mouth
assaulted your throat, inhaled your skin.
Your sweet vanilla warmth blanketed my senses.
Each undulation of your spine pulled the walls in.
I felt the universe contract in rhythm with your grip,
firm and tender, anchoring me as the world dissolved.
I woke in breathless stupor, damp and empty,
knowing that you weren't here anymore.
Wanting to open the sky’s veins, I tore down the blinds
and cried. Sometimes I cannot understand
why I have to miss you this way.

I miss you so much, dear.

2007-12-20T17:31:00.000-08:00

Worry.

   Dinner alone
      watching the clouds knit over
     the night sky
                      Thinking of you
                          walking beside me
                        A little hectic, don't know
                                              why
  Because,   
         you see,
            I would hold your hand dear lady
                            The road feels
                          so winding
 You'll walk the many miles inside me
     and one day you'll know that
     I'm just another man

                                 When you are lonely
                             don't tell a different story
            You are my wisdom
        Don't be afraid to tell me
                          That I'm gone away
                           and never a day
                       goes by without you missing;
        That I'm far away
         and seldom a night
    has come without you sighing;
                           But now it just seems
                           that I'm just another...
         Don't be afraid to tell me
      
              That somehow I'm gone
          and you've found another man.

2007-12-02T21:36:00.001-08:00

Lavender.

Your voice skims over the buoyant breeze
Coy and lilting, pure currents of passion
whistling through my heart’s flute
in fields of lavender where dreams of splendor
shine bright. With satin shoulders praising the sun
You hurtle through purple, me in swift pursuit

Catch me! You call my name unsparingly
Careless and free, striking with abandon
the broken chords that bled me dry
Did you wonder why, when I say Katherine
a latent hunger seethes within, bringing
gravity to the beginning, to the ending a sigh?

Chasing you, chasing me, and our sudden collapse
into the starry blanket - we never saw beyond it
such binding ardor; a secret garden where
your eyes meet mine every cloudy morning
smoldering, revealing the fires we lit
in the lavender dusk, to a tender prayer

2007-12-01T16:12:00.000-08:00

Baseball is Like Writing.

Baseball is like writing.
Word after word is another pitch.
Some are curved, some are straight, others sink.
Announcer is reading.
His excitement peaks at a solid hit.
And the story line will pop and soar.
Tis a shame the writer wont get rich.

A poem by Nick Christensen

If you want to be a guest poet on Orangepeel and Papercuts, simply email your work to ariffin.adam@gmail.comwith "OPPC Guest Submission" as the subject. All guest poets maintain copyrights to their contributions.

2007-11-26T07:19:00.000-08:00

My Night Life.

Imagining again my plight,
Again in moonless night.
Moonless I say,
Is only true for today.
Now that you came back from afar,
"Look," I pointed and you looked at the shooting star,
Unto you I took a step closer,
Very gently, I whispered into your ear,
"Every moment, I wish you are here, my dear."

A poem by LHZ

If you want to be a guest poet on Orangepeel and Papercuts, simply email your work to ariffin.adam@gmail.comwith "OPPC Guest Submission" as the subject. All guest poets maintain copyrights to their contributions.

2007-11-11T20:17:00.000-08:00

Her Rhyme Acrostic.

Katherine. Lathe on which my dreams spin.
Antimatter to the mundane. I can’t refrain from your
Touch, unraveling to your flow, rushing so slow.
Holding my universe in check with such
Ease, baby please - take me into your chamber of sin!
Raise your skirt higher for I crave your flesh
Incessantly. Dear demise of reality, you’re a
Necessity in all my life - kiss away my strife and
Eventually we'll share eternity, angel eyes.

2007-11-07T19:14:00.000-08:00

Rivertide.

She kneels beside the running stream
Weaving baskets from the autumn reeds
Another time, not long ago
We sat together on the moonlit beach
Why do you ask?
I never told
She has to linger in the bitter cold
Why do you doubt?
Our bright memoirs
She sets them off between the drunken stars

Baskets of flowers and tears
You bleed those evergreen fears
I am the spectre by your side
Floating to some other land
You feel the touch of my hand
On your face
Without a trace
I am the voice inside
The rivertide

You stood with me under the past
Weaving futures from my rended heart
Another time, not long ago
We held each other through the hardest start
Why do you ask?
I had to go
I left you something on the empty dancefloor
Why do you doubt?
I gave to you
Wrapped up in memories that time won't undo

Pieces of my broken soul
Girl count the shards that you hold
You are the spectre by my side
Floating to some other land
I feel the touch of your hand
On my face
The bitter taste
Of all these tears I cried
In the rivertide

2007-10-14T15:24:00.000-07:00

Still Yours.

When I am taken,
the morning rays will still slice
through tangled locks to fall
onto your fluttering eyelids
revealing fiery crystal browns.
Your delicate lips will still part
for a waking breath, warm and deep,
welcoming another day of strength.

Your heart will still beat.
For me no longer, but slower
and stronger with a peaking firmness
to clench and crush the void
that I lived in, now painfully hollow.
Tenderly hiding away our fond past,
your soul still carries the can.

And somewhere out there a tear falls
to the moon and back.
And somewhere out there the nut brown hare
walks alone, unable to turn back.

When I am taken,
little things will become portraits
of us, a slideshow of past happiness,
now laced with steep melancholy.
Then you’ll turn to me and see a friend,
his hand still warm and kind.
And your delicate lips will part
for a smile, accepting, bittersweet,
welcoming another day of life.

And somewhere in this heart
the nut brown hare sleeps soundly.
Still loving you to the moon and back.

2007-09-30T01:35:00.000-07:00

Quietly in The Dark.

Quietly in the dark
whisper smoky sounds to me
Touch this aching spirit hard
my beautiful friend and fantasy
Flesh and bone, I crave
your mind and the loving tone
of your voice, saves
Now cut with a smile and walk away
Slowly, dear, just walk away
how teasers do and make me miss you brightly
Like star coronas and the searing of your nibble
on my shoulder burning deeply when I see you
Nimble, nubile, nude my Aphrodite don’t construe
that I’ll always be with you

Although there’s nothing like the
northern lights - in the shadow of our sin
and eternity - in the scent of your skin
and the aching pain when I see the ending with you
But maybe someday nothing will break
the silence of our memory
Lying awake and sleeping with the enemy
Trying to find the reason why I’m at the start
of a broken heart

Summer days and balmy nights
Throw your hair back, hold me tight
Your laugh lights rockets in my boyish heart -
That spark! Inside your head is buzzing with a zillion
Bubbles bursting with sick imagination
When you speak the angels run for shelter
The way you make it so clear (nuclear)
In killer style – Step back, I think I’m on the edge now
Too late, the feeling that you know just how to
Toss your flaming wrench into the shaft and cogs
Oh, stop it with the dirty jokes and the wind in your hair
framing tulip lips and the evanescent stare
When you fear me catching something in those lovely eyes
A thousand lies… how you despise…
my blind and bleeding lies…
when I say, “I’m not checking you out, babe!”

Although there's nothing like the
crashing stars - in the wake of your stride
and the saddest laugh - when realities collide
and the emptiness of this lonely world without you
And maybe someday nothing will break
the silence of this misery
Lying awake and dreaming you beside me
Trying to find the reason why we're worlds apart
At this brand new start

2007-09-12T00:18:00.000-07:00

Looking Glass.

When day is night I see through glass
another world that holds me fast
to racing heartbeats and the lathe
of drowning dreams in which I bathe
In sweat and fog, her warm embrace
still lingers on these cloudy days

Carelessly she stretches out on leather
and tries to read in sleepy weather
She doesn't know she rules a world
From this lost room, I watch her curl
Her breath a hammock for her puppies
My angel sleeps in hot black panties

2007-09-11T00:46:00.000-07:00

Awaken.

I see eternity in your lips and eyes
The torn sky never seemed so beautiful
Orange sherbet and the full rainbow
Ever breathing somehow dying
Space dilates
Musky dusk and the pulsing
blue fires thrown together
heartbeats apart
Twilight dreaming
over the arch of your back
Beauty slumbers

Now awake
Your hand takes mine violently
and I grip tear ravage back
Never ever leave me don’t say
it never meant much
To me it was everything
Never say it was just a game
unless you mean it
and would see my heart break
Just nurture
We want to be babied
And fucked
And babied
But I want to protect you too.

2007-09-02T23:51:00.000-07:00

Saturnight Memory.

Starlight and thoughts of you pour through
windows from dreams of me and you
Your bite on my shoulder – a slow shiver
The scent of your hair intrudes, fierce and bright
And I glimpse waves slip past the corner
of sight, unlocking a moonlit memory

Remember

That lonely Saturnight
Languishing in darkness, watching your body
Every nerve screaming for you, my strength wavers
Something tears within: heart’s twisted fibers
So worn and scraped and soul starved - take me in!
Because I’ve always felt you close, a kindred being
A warmth to seek, a voice to sing and
whisper spells that soothe within
So very tired of fighting
I yield

now dreaming
falling into tenderness
you're here
fingers on my back
delivered

2007-08-27T19:28:00.001-07:00

Morning Pancakes.

Smooth. White. Frothy batter
Dapple on the heated buttered metal
See how the edges start to settle
Golden brown, above the fire it jiggles
Can ya flip it? Give it a trial
Twinkle in his eye, mesmerized awhile
I jest to Oberon and make him smile
Come, let's watch the flowers grow
Just like ones by Travis's window
Plate of pancakes in one hand
On the telly, silly cartoons on demand
Air feels cold, but inside it feels warm
Give me that smile again, hon
Squeeze 'em knots later please, for it aches
That magic touch, that's all it takes
By your side, having morning pancakes.

A poem by Katherine

If you want to be a guest poet on Orangepeel and Papercuts, simply email your work to ariffin.adam@gmail.com
with "OPPC Guest Submission" as the subject. All guest poets maintain copyrights to their contributions.

2007-08-27T03:08:00.000-07:00

Mysterious Eyes.

Sometimes when I touch your face
The softness in your eyes reaches so deeply inside
It feels like I’ve watched you a thousand years
In those mysterious pools where I can hide
Fragile boats carrying my deepest desires
I send them to you one by one, brave vessels doomed
For they plunge so deep and far
Down the waterfall, drowned and entombed
Misguided by a fateful star

And you wonder why I look into your eyes
It’s a river flooding, beyond all urgency, almost pregnant
With words that can’t be spoken for fear
Of a delusional miscarriage of this lovely sentiment
Of giving to doubting all else I hold dear
So never ask why I gaze upon you desperately
When I plunge so deep and far
Into you, into pools of forbidden mystery
With the door to my soul left ajar

2007-08-24T01:12:00.000-07:00

Friday Afternoon.

Said she wanna do her hair
On a Friday afternoon, where?
Up the wall fleeing this raging cancer
Burning, fanned by the wings of a prayer
Thinkin' about a song and a letter
Like I care
It's crazy, lady, why are you there
In that room with the rose
Lying on the stair
Fading - this shattered ballroom of despair
Never spun so furiously upside of hell
Bring out the scissors, hit the chair
like a boxer in the corner dreading the bell
Down in the ring, reeling from your blow
A spike of insanity, baby, why do you stir me up so
Crazy, maybe there's not a damn cure
But I don't fear anymore
Slap on the treatment, the fatal infusion
A fistful of dollars and a pint of reason
Hand me my passage and I'll fall through the door
To the sea, drips like honey but I'd rather your hand
Send me away
and away
in your tresses
on a Friday

2007-08-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

Given.

Lying beside you is being home
In silent darkness I breathe you in
Falling softly
Lulled by your kiss
Tamed by your flesh
I lie listening
to the world
the sigh of the fall
and rise of your breast

Gentle slopes and stirring horizons
touching and melting
into peace

You're the only rhythm I need
You're a secret season whose charms exceed
The vibrance and grace of summer's sisters
One caress, a brush from your tresses
The warmth of your breath
And nothing's left ungiven

Your name on my lips
Never falters from my chest
But perhaps tomorrow
My voice will break
And my heart will follow

2007-08-06T04:34:00.000-07:00

Elevator Beat.

David: Look at us. I'm frozen and you're dead, and I love you.
Sofía: It's a problem.
David: I lost you when I got in that car. I'm sorry.
  Do you remember what you told me once?
  That every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.
Sofía: I'll find you again.
David: I'll see you in another life... when we are both cats.

Excerpt from Vanilla Sky (2001)

2007-08-01T23:56:00.000-07:00

Haiku Studies II.

My autumn apartment --
The bike stand by the window
and her welcome smile.

Evening by the creek --
A cool fountain side bench
seats tender lovers.

A candle flickers
as the snowy crane alights --
Her parting gaze.

Afternoon moon --
Cicadas in concert
drown the urban roar.

To the evening star
the poet's conflict
is trivial.
.

2007-07-30T02:14:00.000-07:00

Haiku Studies I

Sheets of glass
luminesce in free fall;
Moonlit fountain.

Dappled courtyard --
Tracing outlines of her face
on the tea menu.

Sunday noon --
Cloud shadows on the wall
sweep hours away.

Her breath on my ear
soothes like warm summer rain --
A friend reaches out.

Clothes bury secrets --
damp bodies spent and bestrewn
in her messy room.

2007-07-23T03:06:00.000-07:00

The Last Beach.

White sands extend beyond
And under seas where still is norm
Where sundered skies leak silver dust
From stars that burnt out eons past

I walk the shore of then and now
A limbo in the murky trough
Of souls that rotted from within
And anchored here in bays of sin

Footprints in the liquid powder
Paint the way to Future’s tower
Always in the fading crimson
Limits of the spirit’s vision

Soaring through this airless realm
An angel bird from Freedom’s helm
Heads towards the distant peak
I have no breath to call or speak

The words from all my dreams that may
Come true, come back, don’t go, please stay
This wayward heart has nothing left
But emptiness, of warmth bereft

So silently I push on harder
But end up sliding ever farther
Away from hope, the way ahead
Is snaking back to where we’re dead

But past is past and now has gone
To neither world I now belong
The broken sky I see above
Is me, and you’re the fleeing dove

2007-07-20T00:09:00.000-07:00

Untrue.

When you forget me
Like I’ve forgotten you
Somewhere in the grove of ours
Dead hearts will bloom anew
But your absence always lingers
Beautiful and broken, lost
In the misty winter mornings
Will your body
tremble soft when you
Don’t want me too

Dreaming of frozen moments
Wide pupils under snow
Settled on your lashes, frosted
Cheeks flushed and lips aglow
When this stormy morning passes
By and by I’ll say your name
But we’re lost forever honey
Will your laughter
sound the same when you
Don’t miss me too

Walking on the hollow pavements
Worn out smile, none to blame
Found myself a fallen angel
Dirty wings and soul stained
Told me that my heart was plundered
A million years before you came
So I’ll never treat you right, girl
Will it stop
this aching pain when you
Don’t love me too

2007-07-16T20:47:00.000-07:00

Dawn.

Foolish games, the stain
We wake up dead
Never the same
Hurt me, hurt you
Many angles sharp and true
Did we love?
Me, Him, You?
And what's the sweet
without the ever tender
loving bitter hate
You can't sate
this lust for was
done past gone... Lost
and never found in the rosy dawn

2007-07-09T12:11:00.000-07:00

Quills.

Quills sharp flow like sliced
Veins pulsing brimming bright
Jagged lines define demised
Memories gathered in the night

Guilty carmine caught eloping
Fallen hard and soaked with thirst
Tainted angels blind and groping
Innocence fucking in a hearse

Quite contrite he fell choking
Shedding withered Valentine sins
Building bridges never crossing
Making out without the ins

Beating sleeping dreaming wanting
Taken slyly from his grasp
Molested at her wanton whim
Now the question starts to ask -

Will I find the I in him?
Can the player lose his mask?
Shall the curtains fall within?
Letting go, the final task.

2007-06-28T08:41:00.000-07:00

Dress.

Satin slopes fall gracefully
From Her forefront of mystery
Delicate carvings define
Sensual sublime neckline
Poised and perfect without neglect
The setup for a plunging
Precarious V
Where strong lines flow into tender valley
Hugged in a strained stretch
Then gliding on in cool caress
Over firm and youthful flesh
Now washing over deadly hips
That would have launched a thousand ships
If it weren’t for the tomboy gait
Some things are found a bit too late

2007-06-25T07:22:00.000-07:00

Under the Peaceful Sea.

Fishes
A myriad of them
The males, the females, the ones in between
All with their flashy little fins and tails
In their best form for music undersea

Predator
You slipped away from your school
Sly, cunning, calculative, prudent… innocent?
Face changed and jaws hidden
You swam, so friendly and playful
Scouted out a few, and settled on one
Sure and definite

Guardians
Two of them
With the looks of Hercules
But hearts of mice
I saw you swiftly move around
Stop? You don’t even know how
Eyes burning, nose puffing
Discussing fervently without action

Victim
Who? I can’t even tell
You wooed her away
Seems she charmed you
You poured liquid fire
She basked in the ambers
And you got her number
But was it real?

The Little One
Learning, swam closer
You let him have the leftovers
But he couldn’t tear it with toothless gums
From a distance he watches you in action
One day
He will grow
To be the Devil
Whom everyone curses

A poem by LHZ

If you want to be a guest poet on Orangepeel and Papercuts, simply email your work to ariffin.adam@gmail.com
with "OPPC Guest Submission" as the subject. All guest poets maintain copyrights to their contributions.

2007-06-24T08:49:00.000-07:00

Missing the Feeling.

I don't want to say everything to you
Some things need not be said to be known
Time has dulled our appreciation of each other
Pet names and lost humor
Long afternoons and touches that don't matter
We are together, comfortable, but each alone

I miss the girl I fell in love with
Where has she gone?
I've put her away with my careless ways
Our transparent conversations and busy days
Did I lose sight of what's important?
My reasons are tattered and torn

Now I'm nothing but your fool and your crutch
But my heart still yearns for your admiration
I still do magic, even if you're not interested anymore
I'm still funny, although I can't make you smile
I'm still yours
And I'm waiting for the feeling, Love, to return

2007-06-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

The Garbage Collector.

Tweed hat and kneed-out jeans
Strong arms carry strong smells like
Rancid meatloaf, and what I scooped up
From the shower grate, ratty patty
Spaghetti portrait on his white tee
Shirt and bowtie on a Saturday night, he
Wore a tux to the Mafia gala
Must be time to collect those greens
Them benjamins not spinach bits and
Pieces of the human form, sometimes
An entire sack of old potatoes he claims
To plant in his derelict yard
But sometimes at the docks he shovels
Mussels, he says while a black car
Idles in the shadows and I always
Wave at kindly Mr. Murdoch

Image derived from a work in the Russel Lee Photograph Collection, Center for American History, UT-Austin

2007-06-16T01:43:00.000-07:00

Out.

I sink into an abyss so deep and cold
Lights divide and drop into darkness
I don't want to move
The twisting ground will make me fall
Hard into blackness where I can't crawl
Out

No reason to breath but a faraway hope
That the moon will rise on a closed up wound
Her light is cold now
The blue chill slowly cuts my soul
There's warmth ahead but I can't hold
Out

She meant that much to take my all
In memory I see she never came closer
Her heart never opened
Trying to share happiness I learned to cry
Time won't make this bitter flame die
Out

You said that you were so happy
Just to be with me beside me close to me
I want to hold on forever
Your breath on my skin has me clinging
On to life and meanings and I'm reaching
Out

Cause I'm lonely inside and tired of being
I'm nothing in this vast everything
But there's warmth now
Feeling your heart beating tenderly against me
Is knowing the essence of existence and I see
You're so much more than a miracle

And I miss you
And I miss you
And I miss you Elly
And I see the lights divide and drop
Out

2007-05-26T05:15:00.000-07:00

Tiramisu.

I want your cake

Tirami

Strawberry milkshake
Love me
Do

And never bite your lower lip

Anticipate the
Gentle
Sip

Time and the wind
Go by without much ado

About

Nothing really

About
Breathing easy
About
Less alone now
Don’t construe

2007-05-17T09:38:00.000-07:00

I Lied I Want It Wrong.

I woke up it was raining blood
The pinnacles of gloom
Grow darker by the trickle of pale hours
So shall I stare into the glare of killing sprees inside
Where red is bright and apathy devours

She’ll light the pyre
The corpse of me
The bride of wicked independence
Shall stoke the flames with blood and ire
The blind will see
And all the crying and the lying
Will sink into the crust of me

She cursed me it was raining blood
The phantom of myself
Leapt from the ledge and tore a hole in space
So shall I get up from the grave of fallen dreams that pry
Into the darkness feeling for your face

I’ll light the pyre
The corpse of you
The pride of countless incarnations
Shall stain the night with dark desire
Our one taboo
Will come to surface as a legend
The twisted tale of me and you

2007-05-13T07:50:00.000-07:00

Nightmare #13.


I've had it.
You just can't  stop    the  bleeding
I gauge out  my    remembrance
of nights that  caught  me  screaming
                             for you
You've done it.
I just can't   rip   your   tongueout
Those lips I   want   to   bite out
Her eyes you   saw   me   diving
                          into
     Were distant.
So far away  but  hungry
She toyed with  my  confusion
 The ebbing   tide   of  reason
  Rising  tide   of  treason
   Damn drowning tide...
                         FUCK-I’ve-dunnit!
     I have no   whore   to turn  to
      Your claws reach  out   to  heaven
       Come save me  from  salvation
                           And you
     Were praying.
A skinless sound   of friction
His breathless  cries  malignant
 Your wetness  on  the  counter
  Sordid  damp  encounter
   Oh sickening sight...
                         FUCK-you’ve-dunnit!
     I tore into   the kitchen
      Your smile over  his  shoulder
       Was piercing like  a  beacon
                             You see
I love you.
And we live  in  this  nightmare
 Dead bleeding  in  our  nightwear
  My liquid heart  is  seeping
     In
        to
           you.

2007-05-12T20:27:00.000-07:00

Calling Rose.

Went outside to get a line
Thoughts of you were weighing on my mind
Dialed your number but couldn’t get to hear your voice
Tonight my soul will not rejoice
I guess I’ll get back to you sometime

Has it been that long?
Time ticks slowly or not at all
With dim eyes I stare at the wall

Sleep doesn’t come

So I went outside to watch the stars
But they weren’t out today
The grass was wet and smelled like
A dew splashed morning on a misty day
Remember the rain on that noon so gay?
The coffee tables and the dreams that may?
Like leaves falling in autumn, the memory is fading away

My heart aches with a sense of loss
A desert far to vast to cross
It’s an emptiness inside that fills with pain
When everything goes out in the rain
Like soft watercolors washing away,
By the coffee tables on that cloudy day
One precious thing will surely stay

A picture of you, perfect in every way.

2007-05-10T20:43:00.000-07:00

Breathe.

I've been fighting so hard against the tide. My will is fatigued from the burning heat of failure above my head. So many have tried to survive the tide that I am fighting to reach the land of dreams. So many have tried but many have been overtaken by the tide of reality. I can see the shores of peace but the tide is so strong now. I have no one… just me and the silence of the untraveled path. I'm so close but my will to survive is gone. The tide is so strong and it's getting hard to breathe. I now have a choice… embrace the tide or fight for one more breath… I'll try but it's becoming too hard to breathe.

2007-05-07T05:03:00.000-07:00

Rose.

Rapturous red blossom from heaven afar
On wings of grace through life you glide
Surreal as a fairy in a crystal tower, you are
Everlasting beauty personified

2007-05-07T04:47:00.000-07:00

7:47PM.

headsqueezed
runaway knees
in my mind an eagle
picks up
gummy bears

2007-05-05T04:15:00.000-07:00

Smurfette.

I never wanted much
Skipping through the grass
Chasing lacy damselflies
By azure glass of marsh
It shattered with a savage storm
Ripples of these lies
Grow beneath my painted skin
Used by my accursed kin
I sit here blue, despised

You’ll never see me weep
Under frozen stars
Crying lonely lullabies
From yester lives’ memoirs
I was once a fairy princess
Waiting by the sea
Wishing that my impish charms
Could ferry you into these arms
Across the blue, to me

We used to walk together
Beneath the mushroom caps
You’d tell me tales of giant sails
And lands not found on maps
I’m just a simple village girl
I know simple things
Butterflies and cotton dresses
Sweet wind in my golden tresses
Skies are blue, birds sing

We’d wander through the woods
Skipping hither yon
Stealing fruits from paradise
Fleeing from the dawn
It caught us in a fiery net
Bodies bound by passion
Writhing in the mist and dew
Breathing me in, tasting you
Eyes so blue, my chosen

You said I was your goddess
Of many-splendored things
A blossom of deep sapphire
An angel, lost her wings
And when you gaze into my soul
Doors open inside
You strode into this twilight realm
You said you’d rescue me from them
True as blue, you lied

I waited for your coo
Perched on moonlit sill
Hearing none I stepped outside
The summer breeze was chill
Needle swords danced in your hands
A crimson hourglass
On the belly of the Beast you rained
Splintered steel ‘til last it strained
Bleeding blue, then passed

Flew I did to you
Tears from fear did blind
To poisoned knees you fell
I was so far behind
When your head lay on my lap
You smiled at me and said
I love you more than paradise
Hold me tight don’t close your eyes
You looked so blue, dead

Wait for me dear Tom
I’ll dive into the blue
These throbbing azure currents
Will bear me home to you
Far across the midnight reach
Skipping on the sand
I’ll search until the stars are dust
I’ll find you in my arms, I must
Leave this blue, cruel land

Smurfette image by Mark Behm

2007-04-30T08:35:00.000-07:00

Stickers.

There be many stickers
You stick them on me
Dainty pasties I adore
Frantic peeling spree
Whostuckit on yonder tit
Sniffing sticker glue
Orange peel and paper cuts
Burn on me and you
Here stickers, dear stickers
You wink to me and meow
Sweat and tears and kinky knickers
I'm your stickers now

2007-04-29T00:46:00.000-07:00

Jezebel.

I love Jezebel. I've been in love with her since I first laid eyes on her in Philly. But who is Jezebel? The unattainable. The heart's desire. Her mystery intrigues me. Her beauty captivates me. Her spirit inspires me. Like a sexy fairy tale, she’s a guilty pleasure I seem to never be able to satisfy. She is my heart and yet my curse. The fear of having her to just myself tempts me even more. Her luscious lips contain the sweet forbidden nectar of life’s sensuality. Her soft, silky, priceless skin rockets me to worlds of fantasy and mythical love. Emotions that are so pure, so heavenly that they burn the wings of the common man and yet she is life itself so to resist would be to deny your soul of its eternal yearning for a glimpse of God’s love. She is every woman I have desired and yet she’s is the only woman it is a sin to have. To give in to her would be to lose your soul but for those few fleeting seconds before you disappear forever you’re enveloped by a complete and utter feeling of incorruptible bliss. To love Jezebel is to love a woman’s untamed soul. To love her is to love heart wrenching pain. And to love her is to give her your heart completely with the understanding that she could change the stars of your destiny with one utterance of her enchanting voice. I’ve seen the essence of love and her name... is Jezebel.

2007-04-26T11:14:00.000-07:00

Grey.

Mine.
Eyes so blind.
Morning shade?
The tap trickles but the sound is
Muted.
Colors desaturated.
Trick of light?
The clock ticks on but time is
Still as the bird on the frozen twig,
Killed by the frost on the fruitless fig,
Dead as the eyes in the ashen pictures.
Broken promises, picked sutures.

Thine.
Eyes so blind.
Hardened heart?
I pass you by on the street so
Crowded.
Dark and shrouded.
Why do I hide?
I feel remorse for the thing I
Ended like the blade broken in my wrist,
Tore like the flesh on my ruptured fist,
Choked like the breath in my mouth like clay.
Padded corners, all is grey.

I sold my soul to take you away.

2007-04-21T08:54:00.001-07:00

Catstring.

No earthly or heavenly defense
Can bar your barrage on my senses
But I’m not one who retreats, hence
I’ll guard my heart with higher fences

Your words belie your cunning game
Mystery man with heart so stout
These wicked thighs you’ll never tame
I’ve got your motives figured out

No nymph or deadly succubus
Can see through this elaborate lie
I’m an onion with a thousand layers
Peel me back, you’ll only cry

You push and pull and strum my strings
Puppeteer of style and substance
I turned around, you clipped my wings
Free me from this deathly sentence!

So quickly do you change your step

Eyes like yours, they burn so deep

Come place your body on my lap

Not so fast, my price is steep

No girl has made me feel this way

You’re not my type, not tonight

Kiss me now or back away

Hold me ‘til the morning light

You’re mine

Not quite

I’m yours

Goodnight

2007-04-11T03:10:00.000-07:00

A Perfect Cadence.

Vengeance,
Overcomes my last vestiges of conscience,
In a time of God's total absence,
I deliver this harsh judgement, a terrible sentence,
The redemption of a bitter grievance,
I now bestow upon myself the license,
To seek revenge with fearsome vehemence!

Between him and her, I shall cast great distance,
'Til their love decays to questionable credence,
And in me, the stranger she will have preference,
Having presented these qualities of salience,
Suave, mysterious, genius, brilliance,
A man of pedigree, of impeccable substance.

Borneo man, I bid you good riddance,
I delete all traces of your pathetic existance,
Just an extinct Neanderthal nuisance.
And I shall savour your woman's sweet fragrance,
Ravage her with my turgid potence,
Believe me, I would do it in your presence,
This will be the ending, the perfect cadence!

2007-04-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

Out of the Blue.

Since I first saw you, I've wanted to know what your skin tastes like
Now I want to get into your pants with a bloody vengeance
Your face has never left me, Cali girl, hot sizzling dyke
But I'm sushi now, a fish out of the sea, cut up and seasoned with patience

Perhaps you're looking for a charming girl with a naughty little pout
And a yielding frame to brace against your violent torrents, your dirty mouth
In my next life I could be an enticing damsel, or whatever your taste in trout
But maybe in this one, someday you'll venture past the equator, down south

Do us both a favor by jumping on this pole and swinging the other way
Over the rainbow, clouds are milky and skies are bright Technicolor blue
There you'll see silly cows, on carpets of Asphodel they munch away
But stick with the stallions, where, in sexy chaps I wait to rope you.

Believe me, guys are really better at what you think girls can do.

2007-04-01T11:24:00.000-07:00

dream.

a dream?
a smell that awakens me
it's on the tiger
he's in a box somewhere
used to live in a hanging cube
in a dark room where
lithe forms writhed, nude

a dream?
a voice that soothes me
it's from her lips
she's in a box somewhere
used to whisper into a lonely ear
on a rubber raft where
saltwater ran, clear

a dream?
a girl who moves me
she's on my mind
i'm in a box somewhere
used to inhale her gentle breath
in a special place where
our hearts elope, til death

a dream?
a love that rules me
it's in my soul
damn thing's in a box somewhere
used to live free in her tight embrace
at a precious time when

when?

God i miss her face.

2007-03-22T18:20:00.000-07:00

Serpentine.

Dark Night at the S
We boogie til Jesus sleeps
Carrying tubes of toxic mess
Rosie weaves through dazzled creeps

Legs dappled by disco lights
One mile long with silky sheen
Glass of Remy high as a kite
Temptress on the dancefloor, keen

Winding, her slender arms beguile
Amber coils across her face
Red is her world, red is her smile
Silent whispers, languid grace

Cut and flow into her scene
Liquid cocaine burns my lips
Strobe lights blind, smoke serpentine
The mark of Cain upon her hips

Don't you want my tender kiss
Her satin legs my waist entwine
She leans towards my ear to hiss
I am Sin and you are mine

Copyright 2007 Adam Ariffin

2007-03-21T05:03:00.000-07:00

Borneo Man\ Bo^r'n-e-o' ma^n

1. (Anthropol.) Of, pertaining to, or named from, the Borneo Island in the heart of the Malay Archipelago, on which are found living specimens of a semi evolved sub-species of homo sapiens. A primitive, unenlightened tree-dwelling hunter-gatherer, shorter in stature to modern humans. Known occasionally to swim to distant islands to steal women. The cranial capacity is estimated to be 200.5 cubic centimeters.

2007-03-18T06:37:00.000-07:00

Ocean of You.

You crash into my mind like an ocean wave
Lost in your tender embrace, my senses drift away
Flowing liquid night, your hair between my fingers
The intoxicating smell of your skin, your sweat
Lingers in the air like ocean spray
You come and go
Crushing, soothing, shaping the shore of my heart.

Photo by Kevin Ebi

2007-03-12T00:48:00.000-07:00

Her.

I walk up to her, feigning confidence in the face of her disarming smile. There’s something about her look that breaks a man down, bares his less than honorable intentions to the scrutiny of conscience. She starts to speak and my thoughts falter; she has me transfixed by the parting of her lips. Graceful tulip petals moistened by the dawn. Between every gentle sigh of her speech I piece myself together, clawing desperately for witty or passionate lines to capture her interest. Not one comes to mind. I keep the conversation going with insipid and mundane topics. Then, in a moment of brutally applied honesty, I tear the curtains down and reveal the beast.

“What do you do in your free time?” she asks.

“I wank and watch porn a lot,” I reply.

A look of shocked disbelief crosses her face, as if a hairdryer were plummeting into her bubble bath. She has an adorable way of widening her pretty eyes and mouth when something piques her interest. Her face, with its bewildering blend of cherubic charm and womanly allure, looks wickedly seductive in the disarray of alarm. I want to careen down a cliff with her in a convertible.